So consumed with what the outside world thinks of us. So held up in the moments of what is going on, on social media. So overly stressed at what the outside world is thinking of us. Being so consumed, held up and stressed it is keeping us from being who we are and keeping us from where we want to go.
Are you one of those people who tent to look outward first and then inward? Are you consumed with the picture perfect life, that you will hold yourself back in the process? Do you over think things too much to the point that you get frustrated?
Look in the mirror.
Do you have the perfect life? Or do you have the perfect life that everybody tells you, you have? The life that is displayed on social media. The life that you should be happy with because that is what everybody is telling you.
Someone elses reality might not be yours. Their perception of how life should be might not contemplate with yours. Than why are we, why are you, trying to live up to that?
Are you holding yourself back? Get out of your comfort zone!
Some people have this instinct feeling that life to the outside world needs to be perfect. Planning everything, thinking over every step they take on all possible outcomes and what to do when it happens. Those people think so much that by the time they realize what a great opportunity something is, it has already gone by. Poof, just gone with the wind not to return.
By over thinking the situation they hold themselves back when moments of luck, opportunity and chance come by. They tent to be critical about everything and towards everybody in their direct environment and can come across as not enthusiastic and cold. The way they are critical and maybe even harsh, distant and guarded towards others, those people are even more harsh on themself. But waters run deep with these people and there is more than meets the eye. If an error occurs, brain freeze starts to happen and they wont stop analyzing themselves till they have processed it. In some occasions this can take up weeks to months.
Some people are very pragmatic. They don’t shy away on helping others first even when they are in need for help themselves. They give a lot but when being hurt themself they cannot express it and hurt extremely inside. Those people will take precaution to prevent from getting hurt, making a choice at all or something similar. Getting hurt means something is wrong and that equals being imperfect. Not having a perfect life is one thing but not being perfect themselves that’s what keeping them up at night.
Everybody has some of these traits I mentioned above. One more than the other and hell maybe you have them all! That is okay, it makes you who you are, it helps defining you. Just realize you have them, let them help you in moments of decision-making. Recognize them when you are doubting and lingering about making the right choices. You can use every trait you have to your best advantage, look for them. Once you recognize you have them than don’t let them get you in a negative spiral of over-analyzing.
Myself, I’m a control freak. for example, I love a glass of wine, but I wont get drunk and lose control. Not in a situation where I don’t feel at ease. Of course I have been drunk before, but only in private settings, never in public. Another example, I need to know where we are going, what we are doing and have a plan. I can just as easily change the plan, that is no problem at all, love spontaneous things, but I need a plan to work with. Even not having a plan, is a plan that works fine for me.
I will not stand here and pretend I’m perfect because I’m far from being perfect. But I’m perfectly happy with being imperfect though and I will strive to enhance my qualities that would require adjustment.
Over thinking is also a great quality of mine 😉 Luckily I have mastered the skill to recognize when I do it and stop it. Sounds easy right? Just stop over thinking? Well it actually is.
I usually take these steps;
- recognize you are over thinking
- Stop it
- Take a step back and look at the situation from a different perspective
- Be rational about it
- are you making things up along the way
- are you making it worse in your head
- Is there a problem at all, and is it yours to deal with
- What can you do about the situation
- What do you WANT to do about the situation
- not mistaken with what does the outside world think you SHOULD do
- Does it make you happy in life, is it adding value?
- Take the outcome and handle accordingly
If you are that person who tents to stick with a plan than that is brilliant. It is a remarkable quality when you put all you have, all you time and energy in something and make the most of it. However don’t be that guy or woman who is not capable in altering and changing a plan. A plan once made 10 years ago might not be what you still desire today. There is nothing wrong with make a new plan, changing the course of your life and seek for a new final destination.
Sometimes you just have to close you eyes and jump in the deep. Their will always be someone to catch when you fall, someone who cheers for you when the party is already over. Dont let the fear of making a mistake, fear of being imperfect, fear of being rejected control your life. You only have one chance of life, make the most of it. Try new things, go outside your road book, make that decision that scares the hell out of you and you will find out that the world just keeps spinning as it has always done.
Remember you are always going to be perfectly imperfect to someone.
“It is reasonable to have perfection in our eye that we may always advance toward it, though we know it can never be reached.” – Samuel Johnson
Cheers for now