Freedom to choose

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Feeling trapped inside a lifestyle that isn’t yours, it happens to so many people for all kinds of reasons. Maybe it’s because after years working in the same place, the same job, the fun disappeared in your work, or the spark vanished in your relationship and a small voice tucked away in the back of your head is asking you over and over again ‘is this all there is in life? Is this who im meant to be and do?’ The voice itself is not so bad, we all have it. The question is, what do you do with it?

When you would ask this question years ago, the answer would be obvious. Nothing! You do nothing! You would ignore the voice and live your life like you would suppose to live it. Nothing more, nothing less. You chose a spouse, got a house and went to church every Sunday. Times are changing however and the choice to choose, the choice to change, the choice to be is available for everyone who takes it. Young – Old, Single – Married, Man – Woman, no exceptions anymore. These are amazing times, but they also come with great difficulty, because you now have a choice. Their is no shame in changing jobs, having no children, getting divorced, all the options are open to choose.

Some people meet ‘the one’ and are happy devoting their whole life’s to one another. They are always at each others side never going a day without. Sounds like true love, and for these people who live their life’s this way it is making them truly happy. Some couples are the complete opposite from this, they hardly see each other, work, sleep and outside activities are separated and they need to schedule quality time as a couple like scheduling a dentist appointment. Their are many different kinds of relationships, non are better than the other if both sides keep being in balance. But here is the thing, during life things change, people change. Most couples adapt to changes and continue the lives they are living together. But what happens when one side of a couple wont or just can’t adapt to an altering situation?

When people get together young, they see the future bright and colourful. They start working, get a place together and at some point most couples want to have children. Family life begins! Brilliant… However in the time where we live now roles between man and woman are not as similar as when we grew up. Women are becoming more and more career minded and metro-man are staying home 1 or 2 days a week to take care of the children and household. Women are getting more and more masculine with the years. They play sports that used to be only for men, like soccer for example. They get jobs where they are days away from their families, something that was unthinkable years ago.

So what is my point?

The fact is, a masculine man always attracts a feminine woman. The more masculine the man, the more feminine the woman and the other way around. It is just simple match. Like I mentioned, things change during life, it happens. Point a views change but what to do when your wife wants more freedom? Or when your husband wants to stay at home more? Are you ready to give up your freedom?

Women are gently, carrying and giving by nature. They tent for the house, household and children. They are the once making a house a home. A safe haven where you feel at ease, where you can be yourself, close the door and leave the big world outside. What if your husband wants to take that place? Take your freedom, independence of giving and caring away?

Other way around;

For men, freedom mostly equals happiness. When having the freedom to be who they are, to be who they want to be, it means being happy. Of course for one happiness means the freedom to go out with friends and for the other it means having a job days/weeks away from home. No man is the same, they all feel freedom and happiness differently but they all have the same underlining. Where woman are caregivers, men are providers. Men work to provide for their family. In aincient days men would go out and hunt for food, these days money is an important tool in providing. All men need to have the feeling of freedom, freedom equals happiness. What if your wife wants to take that place? Take that freedom, independence of providing away?

Would you be okay to change your role? Become a metro-man with more feminine energy? Or of course become a woman with more manly energy.

vrouw vrijheid

I once knew a man who worked extremely hard, 7 days a week if needed. Most people thought he worked hard for the money and they called him a names like a money wolf for it. These superficial people never looked any deeper and couldn’t see what the real reason was why he worked so hard. This man needed money in order for him to get freedom & independence and those things meant true happiness for him. In this specific case hard work equals money, money equals freedom, freedom equals happiness.

This example is from a mans point a view, but times have changed and this can easily be a woman. Masculine women who are providers or want to be. Who are also seeking for freedom and independence, just like men. Question in that situation is if the man is feminine enough to let that be. To find the balance between these two.. but that’s another blog 😉

I’m not saying what is right or wrong. I’m just acknowledging the fact that this is happening all a round us, maybe even with you. Relationships hit crisis because (mostly) the woman decide she wants more freedom and independence, which goes at the cost of the mans freedom and happiness. The clue is, this is all very new for us all and therefore mostly left unspoken. My only advice would be, to either side man or woman, dont let anything or anyone holding you back in being happy, you will end up regretting it and holding the other person responsible for that.

You have the freedom to choose! 

Cheers x  🙂

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