The other day I was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, and there was a woman standing in front of me. Just an average woman, around 30/35 years old I suspect, busy putting all the groceries on the counter while talking in thin air. It looked rather ridiculous to be honest but then I saw she was calling via a bluetooth headset. It made sence, looked a little bit less stupid, and I was intrigued by the way she was handling this situation. Clearly she was having a rather important conversation because she didn’t end or pause the conversation once it was her turn to pay. She nodded to the lady helping her, the lady pointed to the due amount after scanning the articles, the woman waved her bankcard, she didn’t want to pay cash. The lady inserted the amount and pointed to the machine, the woman paid, signaled that she didn’t need the receipt, grabbed her groceries and left, still on the phone. All this happened without one word of communication between the lady from the grocery store and the obviously busy woman.
It left me amazed, flabbergasted even.
Not one word of communication, no ‘Hi’, no ‘Thank you’, no ‘Bye’ just nothing.
It made me realize that we are so busy and occupied with literally everything, we don’t even take the time to have the decency and respect to talk to each other and acknowledge someone elses being. We are so full with tasks, jobs, appointments and schedules we forget that we are in this world together and not alone.
Ask a group millennials to raise their hand if they ever experienced symptoms relating to stress, burn-out or anxiety and you’ll be surprised to see the few who keep their hands down. Ask if they feel happy being overly occupied and the answer will be no. Ask if they will keep up with this excruciating tempo of today’s society for the rest of their lives and you will see the fear in their eyes, the answer will be no.
How to make an end to all this madness?
How to make an end to all this madness lies completely in our own hands. It is our own responsiblity to slow down and take a breath. Sure, we can’t say no to everything and we certainly have to maintain a certain pace to keep up with the world, but it is your own responsibility to step back before the all-consuming society takes its toll on you. Of course, the woman in the story is just a random person that goes through life like this, but she doesn’t stand alone. So many other women and men are more and more this way, probably not even realizing they are doing this. Of course not everyone will be running around like that, but we all have had that overwhelming feeling where you felt that all responsibility landed on your shoulders. Without you the sun would stop shining, the world would stop spinning and nothing would be accomplished.
I will let you in on a little secret, NOT TRUE, seriously… NOT TRUE… Of course we are all important, every single person is, we all have jobs to attend to, children to take care of and businesses to run. But while you are taking care of all the other things, all the other people, who will take care of you?
That is my point! You have to take care of yourself before you can invest in taking care of something or someone else. This means, taking the time to yourself and unwind.
These are my 5 tips to relax more, see if they work for you;
- Schedule the no-obligations-night
Schedule one night a week where you make no appointments whatsoever. Whatsoever! Also no laundry or cleaning! No gym class, no date night, no friends over, no nothing. You decide what to do at that night, when that night arrives. If you feel like have friends over, go, call them out of the blue and do something fun. Want to go have dinner with your partner, go and eat till your belly hurts. And if you are tired, bring on the Netflix and go binge watching. The point is, that your only schedule for that night is an empty one.
When you have no time to work-out or do other outside activities, go take a walk. I know it sounds silly, but really, it helps you clear your mind. The constant flow of information we put in our heads need to be processed and we don’t give ourselves time to do this. This is one of the reasons people sleep poorly these days. When you take a walk, it gives you the freedom to think, over think and process everything that has happened. Try it, it helps getting more relaxed. And needless to say, please do leave your phone at home.
- Think logic
When you encounter a problem, don’t overreact, don’t panic, don’t get emotional. These reactions lead to an increase of your stress-level, which mostly are not necessary. Look at the problem from a distance and think logic. Can you help or change the problem and do you want to do that, than do it. If you can’t help the situation than dont let it affect your life. In some occasions the real problem is not the problem itself, but you who is creating it. Consider if you have all the facts straight, if you are not assuming things and if the problem isn’t a coverup for an underlying deeper issue. Recognize it, change your ways, deal with the situation on your own. That last one is important because the more people you confide in are more options you need to process and mostly people are not the best in placing themselves in your situation. If you really need to confide your problem, and we all do sometime it is healthy, take one or two people you trust. Think with logic.
- Sex to relax
Plain and simple actually, no need to write a long essay on this one. Think about it, when you had good sex with your soul mate you smile, feel happy and totally relaxed. Nurtured, intimate sex and orgasms release chemicals/hormones in our body that makes us feel connected, relieved, loved and decreases a stress level enormously. Sex is one of the best stress-relieving activities there is. Might I add, I don’t mean hook-up sex without feelings of true love and intimacy.
- Say the magic word
Do yourself a favor and learn this word at the top of your head. Learn how to spell it, learn how to write it and by all means learn how to say it with conviction. Learn the magic word and you’ll see and feel how empowered your are. How the world keeps spinning, when you thought it would fall. How good you feel when you have said it. Learn this magic word and it will do wonders for you. Learn how to say NO. Say NO, when someone crosses a line. Say NO, when you feel hurt or tired. Say NO, when you only do something to please someone else. (I will talk more about this in another blog, this is so important)
Say NO to others more often and you’ll be saying YES to yourself!
Try these tips, maybe they will have you relax a bit more and see things from a different perspective.
Oh and by the way, that busy woman from the grocery store… 3 minutes later she came running back in the store, she forgot her daughter in the play area, but heej…… at least she wasn’t calling anymore.